Silver Linings

Things were going so well.

My depression was no longer an issue. I was off all my medications and felt strong. I no longer dreaded getting out of bed each morning. I slept well at night and woke with enthusiasm for the day ahead.

My marriage was in a better place than ever before. So much so that I had resigned my job to focus on looking after my family and pursuing my hobby with a view to turning it into a home business. We had decided to get a puppy for our son and had chosen a cute little toy poodle cross. We just had to wait for her to be old enough to come home.

Life was good. We had so much to look forward to and were excited to discover how our new life would unfold. Having been through so much over the previous 3 years and more we were grateful for the peaceful place we finally found ourselves in. We had beaten the odds by not just salvaging our marriage but building something wonderful together.

When a routine check up with my lady GP turned into an urgent mammogram and ultrasound I didn't believe anything could be wrong. I was sure I'd been through more than enough already and the future was secure. When the mammogram turned into an urgent return visit to my GP I still didn't believe for a minute I would get bad news. My husband offered to come with me to the GP but I laughed it off and said I'd be fine, that nothing was wrong.

"You have breast cancer."  The words echoed around in my head but didn't sink in. When she passed me a box of tissues I just looked at it confused. When I looked back up at her the look of sympathy and concern on her face finally penetrated the fog. "But I don't have a lump!!!" She explained to me that I did indeed have a lump but it was almost impossible to detect without the scans.

That day was the start of the hardest year of my life. I'm sure it was the hardest year of my husband's life too. It was also the start of massive changes in our relationships, our priorities and our hopes and dreams.  That day in November 2011 changed everything. The following 12 months, with all it's horrors, set us on the path we are on today. It taught us that together there is NOTHING we can't achieve. Together we are heading in the direction of our dreams.

When I'm feeling brave I will write more about that particular journey ... because although it was a very difficult time it also made everything else possible. It taught me that there is ALWAYS a silver lining even if it's not obvious at first.