It's never over

I read a blog post by another cancer survivor a few weeks ago and it really struck a chord with me. Since then this post has been slowly crystallizing in my head. Finally it's time to get it out!
 
The thing about cancer is that it's not over when you finish chemo or radiation. It's not over when your hair grows back and you look like your 'old self' again. It's not over when you get the all clear on your first annual check. Or your second.

Cancer affects you long after it has supposedly left your body. Fatigue, preventative drugs with their associated side-effects and the constant vigilance. The emotional drain of facing your mortality, the frustration of a too slow recovery and the realisation that you will never be your old self again. Not to mention the medical bills...

But surviving cancer is still hailed as a victory, something to be celebrated.

And cancer survivors are too often hailed as heroes, the physical embodiment of the words strength, courage and determination.  So much so that survivors are actually expected to act that way.

Stay strong.  How many times did I hear this during my cancer treatment?  So many times that I felt obliged to live up to it.  Keep your chin up. Think positive. We've all said them and we've all heard them. But have you ever stopped to consider just how these phrases intended to inspire us actually disempower us instead?

This week I received a gentle reminder from a good friend that sometimes it's ok to just be sad. And so I was for a while. And now I have picked myself up and continued on. In my own time and on my terms.  I wish I had allowed myself that luxury in the past instead of trying to live up to everyone else's expectations.